Parental guidance: Millennials are seeking help from parents in buying first home

By Tony Wittkowski | Business Reporter | The Herald-Palladium

ST. JOSEPH — While the economy is still in recovery, many millennials are unable to afford buying a home of their own.

This has led to a national trend where parents are stepping in to fill the void more than in previous years.

A recent survey by loanDepot shows 17 percent of the parents of millennial children – defined as between ages 18-35 – expect to help their children buy a home within the next five years. That’s an increase when compared to the previous five years, when 13 percent of parents expected to provide home-buying assistance.

Parental assistance defined by the survey ranged from contributing to down payments to allowing children to move back into their homes.

One-third of the survey’s respondents said they would allow their children to stay home to save money for a home purchase, up from 11 percent in the previous five-year period.

Mark Mawhinney, an associate broker at Pier Realty in St. Joseph, said while that might be a national trend, he has rarely seen that much parental assistance in Southwest Michigan because lending laws have become so strict.

“Buying a home is like running through a mine field,” he said. “You’ve got the home inspection process and determining the condition of the home. There are any number of pitfalls that can sidetrack your transaction.”

The majority of financial help would normally come from down payment contributions.

Half of respondents said they plan to help children with down payments, with another 8 percent saying they would pay at least 90 percent of the down payment. That support is down from the previous five-year period, where 65 percent of respondents covered some down payment costs and 20 percent covered at least 90 percent of the costs.

The survey shows more parents are willing to pay other expenses so their children can save money for a home – 30 percent as opposed to 25 percent in the past five years – with 18 percent focusing on excessive student loan debt burdens.

When Mawhinney does come across helping parents for a client who is looking for a home, he said they tend to be involved with remodeling and redecorating.

“Parents always help, but it’s not always financially,” he said. “They show up to a viewing, maybe prior to an offer. It’s a relatively small amount that relies on their parents for financial help. They’ll come over and help remodel, but to be on the deed and mortgage is another story.”

According to the survey, about 20 percent of parents are willing to help with closing costs, and the same percentage of respondents are willing to co-sign a mortgage loan with their children. That’s about the same percentage of willing co-signers as in the past.

Finding ways to help

When it comes to helping their millennial children, the overwhelming source parents go to is their savings accounts.

A little over two-thirds expect to draw from their savings to help their children, slightly down from 72 percent over the last five years. Twice as many parents in the past five years use funds by refinancing their own home, acquiring a personal loan or borrowing from their 401(k).

Mawhinney said this can be attributed to the lack of feasibility in getting a loan as a millennial – especially if the young adults have bad credit.

“Financing has become so strict today. It’s become more cumbersome than ever to get a loan,” he said. “More often than not, you have to use your own money. It’s difficult for mom and dad to do anything, unless they have a document saying this is a gift with no repayment obligation. If money suddenly appears from no where, lenders want to know where you got it.”

The majority of millennials who were surveyed are looking at this help as a responsibility to be repaid.

While 68 percent of the parents consider future assistance as a gift, only 29 percent of millennials agree.

Chelsea Armbrustmacher, who bought her first home at the age of 27, admits it’s scary knowing she is paying for everything on her own. However, the St. Joseph resident said she would never ask her parents to help pay for a home.

“I had a lot of friends whose parents were paying their way through college, whereas I had to work part time once I entered nursing school,” Armbrustmacher said. “I’ve never liked to borrow money from people. I don’t like having to rely on people, so I guess it’s kind of a pride thing.”

Eric Becker, 29, said the only help he received from his parents was getting their opinion on how he should finance his first home.

“I just talked to him about different financing options, what he did in the past, what to look for,” Becker said. “He told me not to be concerned with uncertainties. As far as getting money to buy a house, I never asked.”

Contact Tony Wittkowski at twittkowski@TheHP.com or (269) 932-0358. Follow him on Twitter: @tonywittkowski.

(Author’s Note: This article was originally published on Oct. 11, 2015)

Walk to Remember enters 11th year in helping parents cope with losing a child

By Tony Wittkowski | Reporter | MLive – Muskegon Chronicle

MUSKEGON, MI — Melissa Near knows what it’s like to lose a child.

In 2003, Near and her husband, Chris, lost their daughter from stillbirth at 35 weeks of pregnancy. Three weeks later, her dad approached her for a support group.

The 11th annual Walk to Remember was created to help parents cope with the loss of a child. (Tony Wittkowski | Reporter)

“We weren’t sure, but as time went on more and more doors were opening,” the Muskegon resident said. “As we were leaving the hospitals, it seemed like this was something the Lord was calling us to do. We opened our home and did meetings.”

The Walk to Remember came to fruition from the experience and has since helped many parents with their loss. This year’s event is scheduled for 10:30 a.m. Saturday, Oct. 4 at Heritage Landing.

This event was created for anyone who has been touched by the loss of a child from pregnancy loss, stillbirth or early infant death, Near said. These losses are collectively called perinatal losses, with more than a million of these deaths being recorded every year.

“We walk to remember our loved ones, to celebrate and mourn them, and to raise awareness of these types of losses,” Near said. “We usually bring our photo album of our daughter. There are all sorts of pictures of her and our family and other scrap-booking things.”

One of the other mementos Near will bring are letters her husband writes from their daughter’s perspective. Attendees are encouraged to bring anything from baby pictures to teddy bears for the memorial table. The walk also includes a short service and a ceremonial balloon release.

The walk began in 2004, shortly after the couple’s loss. The idea came from another Walk to Remember they attended in Grand Rapids.

For Near and her husband, the walk provides them with a time where they can reflect and remember their daughter. People will sing, share a poem or a story close to their heart.

“It doesn’t get any easier. What we find is that when we comfort others, it comforts us as well,” Near said. “We have that hope we can see her again. Every year it’s a very touching time when many tears are shed.”

With the added comfort of others, the walk is one that gives parents a chance to celebrate a life.

“It doesn’t matter how long ago your loss was or how early your loss was,” Near said. “A loss is a loss no matter how far along you were with your pregnancy. That’s your child and we want you to be able to remember them because it affects us all.”

Registration and balloon personalization begins at 10 a.m. If you would like to share your story, a letter to your baby, a poem or a song in memory of a baby, contact the Nears so you can be scheduled in the program. Call 231-777-1983 and talk to Chris or Melissa.

Tony Wittkowski is a staff reporter at MLive Muskegon Chronicle. Email him at twittkow@mlive.com and follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

(Author’s Note: This article was originally published on Oct. 2, 2014)